The Civil War
by FuocoAccigliatoDrago
Summary: Kenny had always known that he was different from his friends, he just didn't know how different. With a war brewing on the horizon, can Kenny figure out what's happening in time? Abused!Kenny
1. Touching Entries

Disclaimer: I do not own what you see, save for Kenny's new powers and alternate costumes. Everything and everyone else, however, belongs solely to Matt Stone and Trey Parker, so do not sue me for using them in this story.

Thank you.

**XXXX**

**Summary:** Kenny had always known that he was different; he just didn't know _how_ different he really was. With frightening dreams plaguing him and the constant black outs, can Kenny figure out what's happening to him? And what's his connection to the Cult of Cthulhu?

**XXXX**

_**Dear journal,**_

_**It's odd for me, as I've never owned a journal before. In fact, I had to dig you out of the trash; which is not my fault, by the way. It's just…my parents aren't exactly what you would call "parents of the year". **__**Thing is, they're either stoned out of their minds, or they're drunk beyond recognition. I know that my older brother; despite how he acts, is worried for me and our sister. They may not know it, but I've been doing my best to keep our parents anger on me and not on them.**_

_**Wait a minute…**_

_**I think I hear dad coming.**_

_**Got to go!**_

**XXXX**

_**Dear journal,**_

_**It's been awhile since I last wrote, huh? I mean, after that beating I wasn't capable of doing much else; much less write. Maybe I should explain a few things…**_

_**For one thing, Terrance and Philip; two infamous Canadian actors, have produced their very first film. Strangely enough, they're calling it "Asses of Fire". One of my friends, Stan Marsh, had come over to see if I wanted to come along; seeing that he was planning on watching it himself. **__**Unfortunately, Stan had chosen a bad day to show up. Not only was mom stoned, but she was also drunk. Even worse, she tried to hurt my friend! I quickly urged Stan to leave, not wanting him to see how she would react. Instead, I was slapped before being dragged back inside.**_

_**So, in retaliation to Stan's innocent question; I was beaten within an inch of my life. It wasn't until later, that I realized why my parents lost it; it was Sunday. And despite their flaws, mom and dad are big on attending church. **__**Something big is happening, a storm one might say. I can feel it in the air, and it worries me. I hope that I can survive the onslaught. If not, then God, please watch over my brother and sister.**_

**XXXX**

_Dear diary,_

_I can't believe that he's gone._

_I can hear Kevin crying in his room, and even now, I'm still crying. I don't understand, why would anyone kill my brother? Kenny was sweet and kind, he wouldn't hurt anyone!_

_Why did you take my angel from me, God?_

_Why?_

**XXXX**

**Journal,**

**I've never done this before, so I don't know what to write. I still can't believe that my baby brother is gone. Kenny never did anything to anyone, so why was he killed?**

**It doesn't make any sense.**

**Even worse, mom and dad don't care! All they did was drink themselves into a stupor. Sometimes, I think that at least mom cares for us, but all dad cares about is himself.**

**Oh, Kenny…**

**I miss you.**


	2. A Horrific Loss

Disclaimer: I do not own what you see, save for Kenny's new powers and alternate costumes. Everything and everyone else, however, belongs solely to Matt Stone and Trey Parker, so do not sue me for using them in this story.

Thank you.

**XXXX**

**Summary:** Kenny had always known that he was different; he just didn't know _how_ different he really was. With frightening dreams plaguing him and the constant black outs, can Kenny figure out what's happening to him? And what's his connection to the Cult of Cthulhu?

**XXXX**

_**This…I'm dreaming.**_

_**I got to be. **_

**Kenneth James McCormick looked around with wide, yet wild eyes. Feeling rather uneasy, he tightened his hood. It was a strange habit of his, tightening the hood of his parka whenever he felt stressed or frightened.**

**Like now, for instance.**

_**Try to remember, what happened?**_

**Kenny frowned, his eyes clouding over. Absentmindedly, he noted the tall, jagged mountains and he could hear the faint screeching of something that **wasn't** normal. And despite this, all he could feel was intense flames. ****Unease aside, Kenny did remember something. He remembered being in the school cafeteria; and the last thing that he saw was the horrific look on his brother's face. Anything after that was a complete blank.**

**Was he…?**

_**I'm dead, aren't I?**_

**Kenny shivered, realizing with disturbing clarity that he was in Hell. He wasn't a bad kid, really he wasn't. Kenny did his best to get by, trying to stay out of trouble, doing his best at school; things like that. But, he was petrified of his drunken parents.**

"**Fallen one…"**

**A deadly chill went down his spine. Swallowing thickly, Kenny slowly turned around; looking up with wide eyes. Standing there; much to Kenny's shock, was a rather tall and decidedly muscular man. Strangely enough, the man's skin held a deep, almost bloody, red tint.**

**Blue eyes met yellow.**

**Kenny realized with a start, that he knew the man. There was no doubt about it; it was the Prince of Darkness.**

**Satan.**

*FLASH*FLASH*

"**War?!"**

**A rather pale looking Wendy was gripping the arms of Gregory rather tightly. Her shock was shared by many, as the President revealed two most recent events. First, was that several Canadian jets had just bombed the Baldwin residence; killing everyone instantly. And second, that America had declared war against their sister nation. ****Then the President announced his new 'Secretary of Defense', Mrs. Shelia Broflovski; Kyle's overly strict mother. Kyle grimaced, face flushing a bit.**

**Why him?**

*FLASH*FLASH*

_**I don't believe this.**_

**Kenny's sweet face was twisted with annoyance as he roamed the bowels of Hell. Since being here, he had closed off his heart; paying no heed to the tortured cries of the damned. Kenny's mind traveled over some recently disturbing news. ****Honestly, Satan wasn't who he was expecting to be. The Prince of Darkness; a fallen at that, was more colorful than a rainbow. And yet, he had a kid? Kenny shuddered slightly; he definitely didn't need to know that.**

…**eh?**

**Kenny stopped in mid-strife; the sounds of Satan's deep voice and that **man** caught his attention. Tilting his head, Kenny realized that their voices were coming from his right. Turning his head slightly, he saw a partially opened door among the rocky interior.**

**Hm…**

**His curiosity taking over, Kenny crept forward; peering inside. He was pleasantly surprised to find a rather nice looking bedroom. Although, the sight of Satan and that man cuddling up in bed, made him want to retch. Suddenly, the television announced the fate of Terrance and Philip; much to Kenny's shock.**

**Execution?! **

*FLASH*FLASH*

**Dark, golden eyes slowly opened; glowing softly. The heir was beginning to awaken, much to the deity's pleasure. However, the heir was not yet ready, but he would be. After all, what was seven years compared to an eternity? The deity began to drift off once more, but not before mumbling a single phrase.**

"**Soon."**

**XXXX**

Blue eyes snapped open.

Eight-year-old Kenneth James McCormick, found himself staring up at the green ceiling of his bedroom. Eyes wide and pupils dilated, Kenny was breathing heavily; his body gripped by a cold and clammy sweat. Once again, he had that frightening dream. He slowly sat up, running a small hand through his blond hair. Blue eyes dimming, Kenny was left with some disturbing thoughts. Ever since his birthday had come and gone, Kenny had been plagued with the same nightmare almost every night. It was exhausting, to say the least.

"Dude!"

Snapping out of his thoughts, Kenny looked up; a bit surprised. Why on earth was his friend, Stan Marsh, doing outside? Well, whatever it was about, Stan was determined to talk to him. Now, could Kenny get outside without being seen? Crawling out of bed, Kenny changed into his normal orange parka and pants. Reaching into his battered dresser, he pulled out a pair of thin brown mittens. Kenny then slipped on some old brown boots, and after tightening his hood, poked his head out.

Stuart and Carol McCormick, now there was an interesting subject. The two were well known among the town's alcoholics and drug addicts, much to their children's annoyance. Unknown to the public, the two were violent to one another, including their children; but _especially_ towards Kenny. Checking and listening carefully for any movement, Kenny realized that the house was quiet. Perhaps a little too quiet for his taste. Biting his lips, Kenny decided to take his chance and sneak outside to see Stan.

Somehow, by some miracle, Kenny managed to avoid a confrontation with his parents. Once he was outside, Kenny found himself relaxing at the sight of his friend. Stan's raven locks peeked out from his blue cap, and his doe brown eyes showed a gentle warmth. Stan wore his normal red-and-brown jacket, jeans, black boots and red gloves.

/"What's up?"/

With his hood up like this, sometimes it was hard to understand him. And yet, Kenny's closest friends could understand him perfectly. Stan held up an article, grinning happily. Kenny took it and began to read it. The article was about their favorite actors, Terrance and Philip, first ever movie. The movie was called 'Asses of Fire', and Kenny saw that it was rated 'R'.

Figures.

"The new Terrance and Philip movie just came out," Stan's smile widen. "Do you want to come and see it?" Kenny blinked owlishly and was about to answer, when he heard the soft rustling coming from somewhere in the house.

Oh, crud.

Swallowing thickly, a decidedly pale Kenny slowly turned around. His blue eyes immediately turned a milky gray at the sight of his mother. Stan was alarmed when his friend started to shake, and followed his gaze, only to see Mrs. McCormick standing at the doorway. Carol McCormick was a pretty woman with dark red hair, pale skin and emerald green eyes. That is, if you didn't count the dirt that smudged her face, the bloodshot eyes, or the fact that she wore clothes that did nothing to keep her warm.

Carol brushed a red strand back, her bloodshot eyes immediately zeroed in on her son. "Where do you think you're going, ya little shit?" She slurred, staggering a bit. Kenny grimaced as he realized that not only were her eyes bloodshot, but glazed over as well.

Drunk _and_ stoned.

_**Why me?**_

Unable to sense the danger, Stan decided to explain. "There's a new movie that just came out," He said slowly. "And I wanted to know if Kenny wanted to come and see it." Carol's eyes narrowed, and Kenny inwardly whimpered. /"Stan,"/ Kenny was very nervous by now. /"I think it would be best if you leave."/ Carol stormed over and grabbed Kenny roughly by his right shoulder; nearly yanking it from the socket. "He can't," She snapped as she tightened her grasp. "He has church." Kenny managed to turn his head so that he was looking straight at Stan.

/"**Now**."/

Now realizing the danger that he was in, Stan started to back away. "But, Kenny what…" He was cut off by Carol's savage growl, and Stan flinched at the sound. Without a thought, Kenny wrenched free, before realizing that his mother was about to strike Stan; it would be a rather nasty blow at that.

_**No!**_

Stan yelped as he was suddenly knocked back by a good foot, hitting the ground with a dull thud. Before he could even think on what had just happened, he heard a sickening crack which was followed by a soft thump.

What the—?

He looked up, eyes wide. To his shocked horror, Kenny was laying on the ground where he had been standing; Kenny was unnaturally still. Carol sent a vicious kick to his ribs, smirking when he let out a soft cry of pain; before proceeding to drag her semi-conscious son back inside. Paling, Stan scrambled to his feet. Hearing the angry shouts of Mrs. McCormick, cinched his decision. It was time to get some help. Swallowing thickly, Stan turned and ran to get the one family who could help; the Broflovski's.

**XXXX**

**Broflovski Residence**

A tiny baby boy giggled as he stood, albeit shakily. He was a cute little thing with a tuft of silky black hair, a chubby face and pale skin, and large dark eyes. He was even wearing an adorable little blue onesie.

"Ready, Ike?"

Ike perked up after recognizing the voice of his big brother; Kyle. "Kick the baby!" Ike's eyebrows furrowed slightly as he frowned. "Don't kick the baby." Despite being barely a year old, Ike was capable of speech; granted it wasn't much. A certain brother came running from out of nowhere, and actually _kicked_ poor Ike! Kyle Broflovski was a little on the small side, due to his poor immune system. He wore his usual bright orange jacket, dark green pants, and an emerald snow cap that cleverly hid his thick red curls, emerald colored mittens and shiny black boots.

Ike squealed as he flew through the air. Unfortunately, he crashed right through the living room window. Within moments, stocky red head Shelia Broflovski was at Ike's side; scolding the baby for breaking another window.

Kyle smirked.

Eh?

Hearing footsteps, Kyle turned slightly, surprised to see a somewhat pale Stan running toward him; clutching something in a hand. "What's up, dude?" Kyle asked, tilting his head as Stan came to a halt. However, Stan was trying to regain his breath from that sprint, and he inadvertently dropped whatever had been in his hand.

Oh?

Kyle bent down and curiously picked the object up. He saw that it was an article on Terrance and Philip's new movie. "Sweet!" Just then, his mom came outside; still holding Ike. "Where do you think you're going, young man?" She asked sharply.

Uh-oh.

"Uh, we're going ice skating," Kyle lied. Shelia gazed at her son, before siting Ike down. "Alright," she said calmly. "But take your little brother with you." Kyle scowled, looking decidedly unhappy. "But mom!" He whined. "He's not even my real brother!" He flinched at her dangerous look, and hastily picked up Ike and proceeded to drag a tired Stan away.

**XXXX**

"You little shit!" Carol yelled, throwing Kenny to the floor. Kenny grunted as he hit the ground, his ribs protesting at the harsh movement. He ended up with another swift kick to the ribs. "You think that you can get out of going to church?!" Coughing harshly, Kenny struggled to sit up. She wouldn't call in dad…would she?

"Stuart, get in here!"

She would.

The tall, thin frame of one Stuart McCormick dragged himself into the hallway. He had thin, greasy brown hair, a thin mustache and cold, cinnamon colored eyes. Unfortunately, for Kenny, that is; his dad's eyes were bloodshot. "What the hell do you want this time, bitch?" He growled, slurring his words a bit as he swayed. Carol scowled, crossing her arms. "This ungrateful brat just tried to get out of church," She snapped. "_You_ deal with the little bastard!" With a drunken snort, Carol stormed off, leaving behind a terrified boy.

Growling, Stuart staggered over and brutally backhanded his son. The force of the blow sent Kenny careening into the wall; a sickening crack echoed from the collision. Kenny groaned, slumping slightly as his vision blurred. He knew that things were bad for him, and struggled to stay awake; fearing that he may have a concussion. Before Kenny could even react, Stuart grabbed him by his right hand and gave a sharp tug. Kenny's pupils dilated as a burning heat swept through his arm, and the pain was immense. Unfortunately, the pain was so severe that Kenny could no longer withstand. His eyes rolled back, and Kenny slipped into blissful unconsciousness.

**XXXX**

**Cartman Residence**

Eric Cartman, a heavyset boy, was busy stuffing chips into his greedy mouth as he watched the TV. He had thin, greasy brown hair, somewhat pale skin and icy, honey colored eyes. He wore his usual blue-and-yellow ski cap, a red jacket, brown pants and shiny black boots.

***RING*RING***

"Mom!" He whined, his eyes glued to the screen. "Someone's at the door!" His mother, Liane, walked out from the kitchen. She was a pretty woman with brown hair done up in a bun, soft pale skin and warm honey colored eyes. She wore a simple blue blouse, dark pants and shiny black shoes. "Coming hon," She said sweetly, walking past. "Hey, can't see the TV!" He snapped. His mom returned a few minutes later, along with Stan and Kyle. Unfortunately, Kyle's stupid little brother; Ike, was with them. _"It's been six weeks since Saddam Hussein was killed."_ This could be heard from the TV.

Huh.

A news report.

"What are you guys doing here?" He asked curiously. Stan held out the article, and Eric grinned. "Sweet!" He suddenly frowned. "But, where's Kenny?"

Er–

**XXXX**

**Noon**

_**At least no one's noticed.**_

Kenny sighed as he carefully sat down on one of the logs at Starks Pond. He had awoken in his room, only to find Stuart gone; and his siblings at his side, patching him up. Stuart had done some heavy damage this time. In the end, Kenny had several hairline fractures in his ribcage, a broken wrist, his right eye had been cut as well as swollen, and sadly, a concussion. Kenny shifted a bit, hissing as he aggravated some of his wounds. Peering through his good eye, Kenny watched as kids; several who he recognized, skate along the frozen pond. He saw Clyde Donovan, Token Black, Leopold 'Butters' Stotch, Wendy Testaburger and Bebe Stevens, just to name a few.

Eh…?

Turning his head slightly, Kenny watched as Stan, Kyle and Cartman walked up to the pond. Strangely enough, all three of them looked oddly smug about something. Clyde skated up to them, his wild brown hair shrouded his gray eyes. "Where have you guys been all morning?" Stan smiled slightly. "Oh nowhere," He teased. "We just went and saw the Terrance and Philip movie!"

"What?!"

The kids gasped, before turning to the trio in shock. Bebe, who had curly blond hair and baby blue eyes, was the first to speak. "You already saw it?" She demanded. "Hey!" Cartman snapped. "Stop crowding us, you shitfaced cock masters!" Kenny winced, a feeling of sudden unease gnawed away at his mind.

It was ominous, to say the least.

Kenny realized that there was a gentle pressure against his legs caused him to look down, only to see that Ike was leaning into him. Before Kenny could even blink, Ike had crawled into his lap and happily snuggled into his stomach.

O-Okay…

"Yeah," Stan said with a cheerful gesture. "You're all a bunch of ass-ramming uncle fuckers!" The kids squealed with delight, chattering excitedly. "We have got to see this movie, dude," Clyde told Token who nodded in agreement. "Terrance and Philip are Canadian," Kyle explained. "Just like my brother." The red head blinked, before realizing something. "Say, where is Ike?"

/"He's over here, Kyle!"/ Hearing Kenny's muffled voice, Kyle turned his head slightly. He found his friend sitting on a log and that Ike was sitting on Kenny's lap. And so, Kyle made his way over. "You okay, Kenny?" Kyle asked gently, taking Ike back. Kenny tensed, keeping his head low. /"I'll live,"/ He muttered, sourly.

Hm…?

Kenny looked past Kyle, ignoring his friend's sudden flinch, to where Stan was. Somehow, Kenny wasn't surprised to find Stan with a love sick smile. Only one person could get that kind of reaction from Stan; Wendy Testaburger.

Oh, boy.

Although, Kenny had to admit, Wendy was pretty. She had long, ink colored hair, pale skin and warm hazel eyes. She wore a dark blue-and-lavender jacket, yellow pants, a pink beret, dark blue mittens and shiny black boots. Wendy then went and did an impressive spin while in the air, before landing on the ice with surprising grace. She continued to skate, never once realizing the effect that she had on one Stanley Marsh. She then skated up to Stan, smiling softly. "Hi Stan," She greeted with a soft, sweet voice.

Wendy cringed, taking a step back in disgust when he suddenly threw up. "Gross!" She squealed. Just then, a new boy skated up to them, sending ice powder onto an annoyed Stan. "Come Wendy," The boy spoke with a thick accent. "Let us try to jump the hilly brush." The boy had wavy, dark golden hair, pale skin and warm, tawny gold eyes. He wore an orange shirt, dark brown pants and black gloves. "Who are you kid?" Stan asked hotly, brushing the powder from his clothes. "My name is Gregory," the boy said politely. "I just transferred from Yardale where I had a four point oh grade average."

Say what?

"Wanna skate with us, Stan?" Wendy asked, tilting her head. "We've been skating all morning, laughing and talking of memories past," Gregory continued as Stan frowned. "We saw the Terrance and Philip movie." Gregory, on the other hand, wasn't impressed. Instead, he merely raised an eyebrow. "I see," he said quietly as he turned around. "Come and catch me Wendy," he called over his shoulder as he skated away. Wendy hesitated, before giving Stan a sad look. "Bye Stan," she whispered and went to catch up with Gregory.

_**Wonder what the teachers will say about this?**_

Kenny looked up at the skies, his unease growing. The remnants of his frightening dreams came back to haunt him. It was just a dream, and dreams weren't real.

…right?

**XXXX**

**Monday**

Kenny rolled his good eye as every kid, except for Wendy and Gregory, sing a disgusting, vulgar song. For once in his life, Kenny was glad for a beating. If he had gone to that movie, then his beatings would have taken on a more deadly meaning.

Yikes.

The door suddenly opened, and the class grew quiet as Mr. Garrison came in. Their teacher was a tall, thin man with thinning grey hair and tired dark eyes that was hidden by a pair of round frames. He wore a green shirt, dark green slacks and brown shoes. For some reason, he carried a small hand puppet that had a bushy beard and mustache, and empty dark eyes. It wore a purple coat and a black top hat.

"Settle down class," the puppet chirped. "We've got a lot to do today." Mr. Garrison nodded in agreement as he hung up his jacket. "We sure do, Mr. Hat." Stan turned his head slightly, seeing that Wendy and Gregory were sitting in the back, holding hands. "Alright children," Mr. Garrison said cheerfully. "Let's start the day with a few new math problems." He turned to the blackboard and wrote out a simple multiplication table. "Now, what's five times two?"

"Don't be shy."

Clyde raised his hand, looking hopeful. "Yes, Clyde?" Clyde bit his lip, eyes thoughtful. "Twelve?" He tried as Mr. Garrison sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "Alright," Mr. Garrison said with annoyance. "How about an answer from someone who isn't a complete retard?" Clyde flinched, looking down as if embarrassed while Kyle had raised a hand. "I think I know the answer, Mr. Garrison," He said cheerfully as Cartman made several mocking noises. Kyle turned slightly and glared at Cartman. "Shut up fat boy!" He snapped as Cartman scowled, eyes narrowing. "Don't call me fat, you fucking Jew!"

Mr. Garrison gasped.

"Eric," He spat. "Did you just say the F-Word?" Cartman stopped, blinking owlishly. "Jew?" Kyle snorted at Cartman's obliviousness. "No," He sneered. "He's talking about 'fuck'." Kyle smirked. "You can't say 'fuck' in school, you fuckin fat ass." Mr. Garrison was horrified by their foul language. "Kyle!" He scolded as Cartman frowned. "Well, why the fuck not?" He whined. "Eric!" Mr. Garrison yelped as Stan turned with wide eyes. "Dude, you just said fuck again!"

"Stanley!"

Kenny rolled his eye, placing his head on the desk. Cartman's lips curled slightly. "What's the big deal?" He mocked. "It doesn't hurt anyone. Fuckity, fuck, fuck, fuck!" Mr. Garrison, on the other hand, was turning red with anger. "How would you like to go and see the school counselor?" He snapped, gesturing to the door as Cartman smirked.

"How would you like to suck my balls?"

Everyone gasped; shocked.

Mr. Garrison spluttered wildly. "What did you just say?!" He roared as several kids flinched. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry." Cartman held up his hands as if to apologize, before pulling out a bullhorn (where did _that_ come from?) and turned it on. "What I said was, _how would you like to suck my balls,_ Mr. Garrison?"

"Holy shit, dude."

_Whack_

Kyle jumped at the sudden noise. Turning his head slightly, Kyle found Kenny slamming his head into his desk. Kenny groaned, knowing for a fact that he too, would be sent to Mr. Mackey.

_**Why me?**_

**XXXX**

**Counselor's Office**

Mr. Mackey, a very thin man with a somewhat bulging head, sat at his desk; gazing carefully at the four boys. He had thin, stringy dark hair and sharp dark eyes that were hidden by small frames. He wore a dark green shirt, a purple tie, blue jeans and simple brown shoes.

He also tended to use the word m'kay.

A lot.

"Well, I must say I'm very disappointed in you boys." Kenny was silent, dreading the outcome of this meeting. "You should be ashamed of yourselves!" The trio didn't look bothered by this, and Kenny looked down; swallowing thickly. "Now, I've already called your mothers."

Kyle turned white.

"Y-you called my mom?" He stuttered as Mackey gave a curt nod. Still white, Kyle looked down; feeling ill. "Mr. Mackey, can I ask a question?" Cartman asked curiously. "M'kay, what?"

Cartman smirked.

"What's the big fuckin deal, bitch?" He mocked as Stan nodded in agreement. Mr. Mackey frowned, slamming a fist down in anger. "Oh, I want to know where you heard these horrible obscenities!" Now, the trio looked nervous, and for good reason. "Nowhere," Stan said nervously. "We, uh, heard them from Mr. Garrison a few times," Kyle lied. Mr. Mackey raised an eyebrow, before pulling out a sheet of paper. "Boys, I seriously doubt that Mr. Garrison ever said, uh, _eat penguin shit you ass-spelunker_." The boys, except for Kenny, snickered with delight.

Suddenly, Carol McCormick, Shelia Broflovski, Sharon Marsh and Liane Cartman, entered the office; each walking up to their son. Before anyone could react, Carol slapped Kenny upside the head; hard. "What did you do now, boy?" She hissed, glaring with bloodshot eyes. Mr. Mackey stiffened. "Thank you for coming on such short notice," He said, sounding a bit sharp. "This just isn't like you Stanley," Sharon scolded. "What did my son say, Mr. Mackey?" Shelia demanded. "Did he say the S-Word?" Mackey shook his head. "I'm afraid that it's worse than that."

Shelia's green eyes widen slightly as she placed a hand over her mouth. "The F-Word?!" She screeched. Mackey handed over the paper. "Here's a short list of what they've been saying." Shelia looked over the list with the other mothers crowding her.

"What the heck is a rim job?"

"Why, that's when you put your legs behind your head and have someone lick your ass," Liane chirped as everyone stared blankly at her. "Young man, you will tell Mr. Mackey where you heard all of these horrible phrases!" Shelia barked.

"I, I, uh…" Kyle stuttered.

"We all took an oath and swore ourselves to secrecy," Stan snapped. "It was the Terrance and Philip movie," Cartman piped up as Stan glared at him. "Dude!" He hissed as Cartman scowled. "Fuck you guys," he grumbled. "I wanna get out of here."

Shelia frowned.

"Terrance and Philp?" She growled. "Those Canadians?" Mackey frowned, obviously confused. "I'm sorry, but who are Terrance and Philp?" He questioned. "Terrance and Philip are two untalented actors from Canada," Shelia grumbled. "Nothing but potty language and toilet humor."

"Well," Mackey said dryly. "I guess I'll have to send a warning letter to parents before more children see Terrance and Philip." Cartman snorted, rolling his eyes. "Everybody's fuckin seen it."

"Eric!" Liane scolded.

"I'm sorry," Cartman mocked. "That movie has warped my fragile little mind." Kenny rolled his eye, snorting at the absurd words.

_**Again, why me?**_

**XXXX**

**Lunch**

Stand in line, Stan looked over only to frown when he found Wendy sitting with that creep, Gregory. "Hey, you're holding up the goddamn lunch line!" Cartman growled, snapping Stan from his thoughts, and Stan hastily moved forward. The school's cook was a tall, heavyset African American man who the students affectionately called Chef. The man wore a short sleeved red shirt, blue jeans and black shoes. And of course, he had a chef's apron wrapped around his bulging waist. "Hello children," he greeted them, his voice rich.

"Hi Chef," they intoned.

"How's it going?" He asked, placing some mashed potatoes onto a kid's tray. "Bad," the trio said glumly. "Why bad?" Chef questioned, sounding a bit distracted. "We got busted for swearing," Kyle said bitterly. "And now our mothers say we can't ever see the Terrance and Philip movie again." Chef raised an eyebrow. "Well, that's too bad," he said lamely. "You should have seen Kyle when his mom showed up," Cartman joked. "He was scared out of his mind." Kyle whirled around, glaring hotly. "Shut up, Cartman!" He snapped. Cartman held up his hands in defense.

"Hey, I'd be scared too," Cartman said lightly. "Your mom's a fuckin bitch." Kyle's green eyes narrowed dangerously. "Don't call my mom a bitch, you fat fuck!" He snarled as Cartman scowled. "Don't call me fat, you buttfuckin Jew!" He snapped.

Chef was stunned.

"Woah, where'd you learn to talk like that children?" He demanded; shocked. "It's pretty fuckin sweet," Cartman said gleefully as he grabbed his lunch. Moments later, he left to find a table with Kyle and Kenny following him. "Chef," Stan said lightly. "How do you make a girl like you more than any other guy?" Chef absentmindedly handed another kid their lunch. "Oh, that's easy," he said calmly. "You just need to find the clitoris."

Stan blinked.

"The clitoris?"

Chef froze, placing a hand over his mouth in embarrassment. "Uh, move along children, you're holding up the line." Stan reluctantly grabbed his lunch and went to join his friends. "Guys, do you know where I can find the clitoris?" He asked curiously as he sat down. Cartman blinked owlishly. "What?" He asked. "Is that like finding Jesus or something?" Kenny, who had just taken a sip of milk, choked. Kyle quickly turned around, and slapped Kenny's back. "You okay?" He asked as Kenny coughed harshly, and he gave a weak nod. Just then, Mr. Mackey's voice was heard over the PA-System.

"_Attention, students!"_

"_We are now enforcing a dress code here at South Park Elementary."_Boy, did he sound tired. _"Terrance and Philip shirts are no longer allowed on school property. Anyone who is wearing a Terrance and Philp shirt are to be sent home immediately."_

Those who wearing said clothes, squealed with delight and ran out. As the cafeteria slowly cleared out, two kids were running towards the room. The pair was an older boy and a younger girl. They had the same chocolate colored hair and pale skin; but the boy had brown eyes while the girl had green eyes. The boy wore a red shirt, gray pants and old black shoes. The girl, on the other hand, wore an olive green shirt, dark blue jeans and old black shoes.

The two scanned the cafeteria frantically, before their eyes landed on Kenny. Stan and Kyle were curious about them, so they remanded behind while the other kids left; including Cartman. "Kevin, Karen, what are you doing here?"

Eh?

No one had recognized the voice, and yet, it sounded strangely familiar. The duo winced as the voice held a slight scolding tone to it, clearly they knew the owner. "I'm sorry, big brother," the girl said softly as she went up to Kenny. Surprisingly enough, Kenny wasn't wearing his hood.

Wait…brother?!

Kenny ran his good hand through his golden curls, sighing. "You two are supposed to be in class," he scolded. Without warning, Karen burst into tears, much to Kenny's confusion. The bewildered boy sent his brother a look. Kevin, looked guilty about something. Hair raising, Stan and Kyle inched closer to Kenny. Stan did a double take when he saw Kenny's face. "Kenny, what happened to you?" He demanded, shocked by the sight. Kyle frowned slightly when he saw his friend's battered face. The right side of Kenny's face was badly bruised; his right eye had been carefully taped up, so only a single crystal blue eye was left unharmed.

"Our dad," Kevin said sharply, his voice held a partial slur. "Our dad beat him after you left," Kevin continued before glaring at Stan. "_You_ were the reason why my little brother was hurt!"

Stan paled.

Before Kenny could step in, there came a sudden and sharp pain. He collapsed into his brother's arms, much to everyone's concern. "Kenny?" Kevin was frantic as Kenny gave a bubbly gasp. Karen looked up with teary eyes before she started screaming hysterically. Everyone could only stare as a dark red stain blossomed across Kenny's chest, spreading rapidly. With a sigh, Kenny died in his brother's arms. Karen continued to scream, and her cries would be haunting them for a long time.


	3. Going Against Canada

Disclaimer: I do not own what you see, save for Kenny's new powers and alternate costumes. Everything and everyone else, however, belongs solely to Matt Stone and Trey Parker, so do not sue me for using them in this story.

Thank you.

**XXXX**

Blood.

That was the only thing that Kevin's mind could register as he stared down at his lifeless brother. Faintly, he could hear Karen screaming, but all he could focus on was Kenny. Kevin knew that he was going into shock, he couldn't help it.

His baby brother was dead.

_Oh gods, Kenny…_

Just as Gregory had snapped to attention, Chef; who had heard Karen's cries, came running into the cafeteria, looking frantic with worry. The heavyset man searched the cafeteria, seeing that but a few children remained. Stan and Kyle looked as if they were going into shock; a teary-eyed Wendy was doing her best to console a younger girl who was still screaming, and the new student; Gregory, looked furious about something. Kenny, on the other hand, was being cradled by an older boy; and Kenny wasn't moving.

Oh no.

As Chef hurried back into the kitchen, Gregory's sharp eyes noticed a small hole in Kenny's back; just inches from his heart. _I see_, he thought grimly as he inwardly frowned. Silent tears pouring down, Wendy struggled to calm the young girl; Karen wasn't it? She hadn't known that Kenny had siblings; like many, she had assumed that Kenny was an only child. Moments later, Chef returned; looking rather pale and grim. "Children," He said quietly, but firmly. "I suggest that you go home." Knowing that there wasn't much of a choice, Gregory and Wendy led the others out of the cafeteria until they were outside.

Karen sniffed loudly.

"He's really gone, isn't he?" She whispered, swiping at her eyes. The distressed girl clung to her brother, Kevin's thin arms wrapping around her as she cried. She felt him nod, and her cries only became more painful. "Why Kevin?" She demanded. "Why would God take away our angel?" The horror of the revelation was finally sinking in, and pearly tears started to drip from Kevin's eyes. "I don't know," he whispered, sounding broken.

"I honestly don't know."

**XXXX**

For the next several days, the television and newspapers would report something similar. It was always about the new Terrance and Philip movie 'Asses of Fire'; how the movie was ruining the minds of children. In fact, not only was Shelia Broflovski the head of the PTA, but she was beginning to lead a rebellion against Canada.

Maybe this was going a bit too far?

…nah?

**XXXX**

**School**

Many students had been pulled from their classes and placed into a large, lightly colored room full of toys, chairs and computers. Sitting in a chair was Mr. Mackey with Gregory to his right and Cartman to his left. Only one student was missing, and surprisingly enough, it was Kenny. "Dude," Cartman piped up. "Where's Kenny?" Mr. Mackey, Gregory, Wendy, Stan and Kyle all froze. This type of reaction sent a wave of unease through the kids. "I'm afraid that Kenny's…oh dear," Mackey whispered, swallowing thickly as he reached up to his eyes.

Was…was he crying?

Tears started to fall from Kyle's green eyes as he shook from the painful memory. "He's dead," Kyle said in a soft, but flat voice. "What?" Cartman demanded, his eyes wide. The other kids sat there, stunned by the horrible news. Cartman, on the other hand, was in complete denial. Sure, he was a jerk, but Kenny was one of the few people who showed him any sort of kindness. Kenny couldn't be dead! Kyle…he must be lying, he must!

"No, I'm not."

Eh…?

Kyle's eyes had hardened as he glared at Cartman. Somehow, that last thought had been vocal. "Kenny is dead," Kyle snapped, his eyes flashing dangerously. "Don't you get it, Cartman?" Stan cried, clenching his fists.

"Kenny was murdered!"

**XXXX**

_**Where…?**_

Kenny groaned, his head throbbing as he gave a low, wet cough. Grimacing as his throat burned, his eyes slowly opened; shielding his eyes as he did so. As the pain began to recede, Kenny's vision cleared before realization dawned on him. He could see perfectly, and the pain from his injuries…?

Gone.

Not only that, but his last memory made him shudder. Prior to waking up; wherever he was, Kenny remembered feeling an intense heat in his back. And the last thing he saw, as he collapsed, was his brother's horrified eyes and Karen's terrified screams.

Then nothing at all.

Blue eyes turned white.

Kenny scrambled to his feet, looking around wildly. For a moment, his vision blurred but with a shake of the head, it cleared. Tall, jagged molten rocks rose from the ground, there was no signs of life; just an endless array of rocks. Looking up, Kenny's pupils dilated out of shock. The skies were a startling shade of crimson with a misty black haze. Swirling ominously within the bloody skies, was a raging inferno. Even worse, was the sight of monstrous, yet bony armored, dragons flying about.

Hell, he was in _hell_.

His dreams…they…they were…

_**Real…**_

**"Fallen One,"** Growled a deep, velvety voice. Now a sickly color, Kenny slowly turned around and froze at the sight of the demonic man. Oh dear, it was Satan; the Prince of Darkness. The odd gleam in his yellow eyes unsettled Kenny greatly.

**"I am Satan, and I'm your God now."**

Kenny lowered his head, his eyes tearing up. Was this his punishment, just for being born? He clutched at his head, tears trickling as he trembled.

_**Why God? Why?!**_

**XXXX**

**Marsh Residence**

Shelly Marsh, a tall girl with messy brown hair and brown eyes, as well as braces; complete with headgear, glared at her brother and his friends. "Your moms are away at a meeting," She growled, slurring her words; thanks to the headgear. "So they put _me_ in charge, and you're not allowed to have any fun." Her eyes narrowed slightly.

"Any questions?"

Stan hesitated, before raising a hand. "Shelly, where's the clitoris?" Her face redden before picking up a chair, and smashed it over his head. Kyle and Cartman cringed, hastily looking away. Shelly was downright cruel, and neither wanted that kind of anger turned on them. "Now, you sit here and be quiet while I go and listen to my Brittany Spears records," She ordered. Shelly stormed off, still red as she muttered about perverted brothers. Stan rubbed his head, already feeling a knot forming. He tilted his head, listening for Shelly. Stan smiled before turning to the others.

"It's clear."

Grinning, Cartman picked up the remote, and turned the TV onto the 'Late Night Conan O'Brian' show. Tonight's special guest stars were Terrance and Philip, much to the boy's delight.

_"Please welcome our next guests, Terrance and Philip."_ The boys cheered as the two men walked out. Strangely enough, the two looked very similar. Both men were tall and thin with beady dark eyes; only Terrance had raven black hair, and Philip had dirty blond hair.

_"Hello Conan!"_ Philip greeted as he took his seat. Terrance sat next to Brooke Shields, looking rather amused. _"Guys, some people have claimed that your Canadian humor is nothing but immature fart jokes,"_ Conan pointed out as the two exchanged looks. _"That's not true!"_ Philip protested, looking a bit annoyed. _"Take this classic joke for instance."_ The two pulled out a set of fake mustaches and placed them on. Philip cleared his throat, before turning to Terrance with a smile.

_"Excuse me, Terrance."_

Terrance looked like he was about to laugh, barely holding back a smile. _"Yes, Philip?"_ He asked, snickering softly. Without warning, Philip farted on him; knocking the man back until he hit a drum set. Unfortunately, the collision had torn the instrument up, causing the drummer to glare at Terrance as he retook his seat. _"Cheers fuck face!"_ Philip greeted as Conan winced at the vulgar language. _"Guys, you can't say that on TV,"_ He warned. _"Now Terrance smells like my ass,"_ Philip said, sounding gleeful. _"I once farted on the set of Blue Lagoon,"_ Brooke said lamely. Terrance stared blankly at her before slapping her.

Ouch.

_"Does it make you guys nervous to be here in America?"_ Conan asked curiously as he leaned in slightly. _"After all, there are a lot of organizations that want you arrested for destroying children."_ Once again, the duo exchanged looks before Philip smirked; an unusual thing for him to do.

_"Oh, they'd have to find us first,"_ He sneered.

_"You're right."_

Conan's eyes narrowed slightly as he glanced off screen. Something didn't feel right; a chill going down the duo's spines. Terrance shivered, inching closer to his best friend.

_"Now!"_

To the duo's shocked horror, dozens of armed guards surrounded them; preventing their escape. Moments later, Shelia Broflovski walked out onto the set; several other mothers were with her. And boy, did she look mad! _"Terrance and Philip,"_ She said in a dark tone. _"Mother's against Canada is placing you under arrest!"_

What?!

The boys sat there, utterly stunned. "Mom?" Kyle squeaked, eyes wide. "Dude!" Stan yelped. "They just arrested Terrance and Philip!"

_"We have a court order for your arrest,"_ She continued, pulling out a sheet of paper as she glared at the duo. _"Philip!"_ Terrance yelped, swallowing thickly as he trembled. _"We've been ambushed!"_ Philip's eyes were cold, and his fury sky-rocketed when Shelia slipped Conan some money.

_"Here you go, Conan."_

Philip's eyes blazed, glaring at the nervous host. _"How dare you!"_ He hissed as Conan paled. _"What have I done…?"_ He whispered. Before anyone could even react, Conan got up and ran towards a window; actually _throwing_ himself through it.

"What the hell is going on?!"

**XXXX**

**School**

The next day, a tired and rather annoyed looking Mr. Garrison walked into the classroom. "Hello children," he greeted, tiredly. "Your mothers had me throw out my lesson plans and teach theirs." He turned to the chalkboard when Stan called out. "Mr. Garrison, why did our moms arrest Terrance and Philip?"

"Yeah!"

"Oh well," Mr. Garrison rolled his eyes as he carelessly waved a hand. "Your moms are just upset, they're probably on their periods or something." The few girls in the classroom looked upset, and Wendy whispered something to an annoyed Gregory. "Mr. Garrison," Gregory said sharply. "Wendy and I believe that was a sexist statement." The man frowned slightly. "Well, I'm sorry Wendy," he snipped. "But I don't trust something that can bleed for five days and doesn't die." He turned back to the chalkboard, and started to write something out. "Why don't we start with some vocabulary?"

_"Attention, children!"_ It was Mr. Mackey, and he sounded worried about something. "Oh, what now?" Mr. Garrison grumbled. _"Come to the gymnasium for an important announcement!"_

Hm…announcement?

The kids exchanged curious looks, before shrugging as they left their class; heading straight for the gym. Kyle was silent, feeling a bit ill. Why oh why was he getting the feeling that his mother was somehow involved in this? Upon arriving, the trio found the rest of the students (staff included) waiting; a rather large TV had been set up. "What's going on, Chef?" Kyle asked curiously, as they sat next to the man. "Something big, children," Chef said, sounding grim. "Chef," Stan whined. "I can't find the clitoris."

Er–

**"We now go live with the President of the United States."**

The screen immediately switched over to the oval office, showing the grim features of an elderly man; President Bill Clinton. _"My fellow Americans,"_ He said in a heavy voice. _"At five a.m. today, the Canadians have bombed the Baldwin Residence."_ Everyone stilled in disbelief. "All of the Baldwin's are dead?!" Mr. Garrison gasped. _"In response, the US has declared war against Canada."_

"War?!" Wendy screeched.

_"In two days' time, the war criminals; Terrance and Philip, will be executed."_ Shock and horror swept through the crowd. "They're gonna kill them?!" Stan yelled. _"And now, I'd like to introduce my newly appointed Secretary of Defense; Mrs. Shelia Broflovski."_

Kyle paled.

"M-Mom?!"

**XXXX**

**Hell**

Kenny groaned, squirming as he was chained to a cavern wall. Unfortunately, for him that is, the chains were attached to a small device; all controlled by a single lever. Heavy manacles were bound tightly around his wrists and ankles, Kenny could feel the metal digging into tender flesh.

**"Feel the delightful pain,"** Satan growled, as he started to pull the lever. Kenny hissed softly as his limbs protested from the sudden, yet harsh movement. Damn, it felt like he was going to be ripped in half.

"Oh, Satan!"

Eh?

The voice, while low, had a rasp to it. Not only that, but the voice sounded familiar; very familiar. "Did you hear?" The voice continued, sounding gleeful. "A war just broke out on Earth!"

What?!

Despite the haze that was gripping his mind, Kenny could make out the silhouette of a man. From what he could see, the man was tall and broad shouldered, and Kenny felt a sense of unease. The man came into view, and Kenny realized why he was so uneasy.

Oh boy.

The man's dark hair was cut short and was partially slicked back, sharp features, naturally tanned skin, malicious dark eyes, and a thin mustache. He wore a dark gray military uniform and simple black boots. Somehow, it wasn't surprising to see him here.

Saddam Hussein.

Satan followed his gaze and smirked. **"Meet my new partner,"** He purred, and Kenny shuddered. Without warning, Saddam shoved Satan to the side, catching Kenny's attention. "Let _me_ torture this pig!" Saddam sneered, reaching for the lever. However, instead of pulling the lever, the man began to rub himself against it. Kenny turned a pale, greenish color; disgusted by such a vile act. Satan frowned, his yellow eyes narrowing slightly. **"Saddam,"** He said sharply, almost dangerously. **"I'm **trying** to do my work."**

…huh?

**"Saddam, can I talk to you for a moment?"** Kenny blinked owlishly, watching as the devil led the man over to a couch; which was surprisingly pink. **"I don't see why you have to belittle me in front of guests,"** He whined. Saddam sighed, before running a finger along the devil's muscular arm. "Who's my creampuff?" He teased.

**"I am."**

_**What on earth…?**_

**XXXX**

Back on Earth, things weren't going so well. In fact, during recess, Gregory was scolding several students about the devastating news. "The American government believes that it can police the world," he said sharply. "And they plan on killing two Canadian citizens, an action condemned by the US." Gregory's eyes turned cold as he huffed.

"Home of the free, indeed."

Those who had gathered around exchanged looks. "What do you want us to do about it?" Token demanded, hotly. "We're just kids!" The trio stuck to the swings, watching as the events unfolded themselves. Finally, Cartman glared at Kyle, who looked rather startled. "You know that this is all your mom's fault!" Cartman accused, pointing at Kyle; whose anger was steadily growing. "Cartman…" Kyle growled in a warning tone. "And it's all because she's a big, fat, stupid bitch!" He yelled, catching everyone's attention. Kyle was about to lunge for him when he froze as _she_ walked up to them. Kyle turned white as the kids gasped.

Cartman blinked.

"What?"

Stan shakily pointed to something that was behind him, causing Cartman to turn around. He looked up with wide eyes, swallowing thickly at the sight of a furious Shelia Broflovski. Mrs. Broflovski stood there, hands on her hips as she glared at him.

"Oh, fuck."

**XXXX**

**Later**

Shelia stood at a podium, overlooking the audience. The audience was primarily made up of the parents of the children. It was once again a MAC; or Mothers against Canada, meeting. "As we continue to send troops into Canada," She began as everyone settled down. "MAC is also fighting the war against potty mouths here at home."

Her green eyes harden as she smirked. "Here to present the V-Chip is Dr. Vosknocker." An elderly man; who greatly resembled the classic mad scientist, emerged from behind some curtains and took Shelia's spot at the podium. "The machinery of the V-Chip is simple." Vosknocker's voice, while soft, held a thick and heavy accent. "It is placed under the child's skin, where it emits a small prick whenever an obscenity is uttered." What he wasn't admitting to, the so-called 'prick' was really a painful, electrical shock.

Randy Marsh, a tall and slightly pudgy man, stood up. His son, Stan, had inherited his black hair; but unlike Stan, Randy had pale blue eyes. Randy's mustache twitched slightly as he frowned. "Wait," He sounded confused. "So this chip somehow knows when the child is swearing?"

Vosknocker nodded.

"Patient B5 has been fitted with the new V-Chip," he continued, his eyes traveling to the curtains. "Patient B5, will you please come up here?" Surprisingly enough, Eric Cartman stepped out. He was dressed in a hospital gown; a surgical cap being on his head. "My head hurts," Cartman mumbled, rubbing at his aching temples. "Don't worry about that," Vosknocker said absentmindedly, waving it off. "Now," He pulled out a set of flashcards and held them up. "Say 'doggy'." Cartman raised an eyebrow, somehow looking both annoyed and amused. "Doggy," he repeated.

"Good."

Vosknocker held up a new card. "Now, say 'Montana'." Cartman huffed, but complied. At this, the scientist glanced at the audience. "Notice how nothing happened," He pointed out, before holding up another card. This time, the card showed a man performing a disgusting act. "Now, say 'horse fucker'." Suddenly uneasy, Cartman turned to the audience; looking worriedly at his mother. Liane simply smiled and gave a small wave. "Go on, Eric," She urged. "It's alright." Cartman swallowed thickly. "Horse fucker." And immediately regretted it as a painful surge went through him. Cartman swore as the pain increased with each word.

Everyone gasped.

Vosknocker followed Cartman as he stumbled off the stage; still swearing loudly. Shelia returned to the podium, while Liane watched her son (who was clearly in pain) with concern. "We'll start putting V-Chips in all of our children next week!" Shelia announced as several people cheered.

**XXXX**

**Hell**

Vision swimming, Kenny groaned in frustration. Sometime after Saddam and Satan had left, Kenny was greeted by the sight of a boy his age, coming into view. The boy had wild black curls, pale skin and solemn dark eyes. Strangely enough he was clad entirely in black. The boy's dark eyes met Kenny's murky ones, before widening slightly. /"Um,"/ Kenny spoke up, his muffled voice hesitant. /"Could you please get me down?"/ The boy frowned, but went up to him anyway. "This is some crazed up shit." Kenny watched as he undid the chains, and before he could ask the boy who he was; the chains gave way.

Kenny grunted as he hit the ground, the jostle causing his hood to fall. The dark haired boy blinked at the sight of Kenny's face, but helped the blond to his feet. "I could have sworn that all children souls were to go to Heaven," The boy muttered.

"What's your name, anyway?"

Blinking owlishly, Kenny looked up; the boy was a bit taller than him (much to his annoyance), and his murky eyes slowly turned back to their natural blue. Feeling his cheeks heat up slightly, Kenny looked down. "K-Kenny." Gods, since when did he stutter?

_**How embarrassing.**_

"My name's Damien," The boy continued, before inspecting Kenny a bit more carefully. "Anyway, you **really** shouldn't be here." Damien frowned, as if confused by something. "I think," He mused thoughtfully. "That a law was set in place after dad was banished here." Damien tilted his head. "Maybe I should check the books again…?" Kenny did a double take at Damien's words, eyes wide as he gaped. "Wait, Satan's your dad?!" He yelped as Damien nodded. Turning a greenish color, Kenny looked as if he was about to be sick. "Ugh," He groaned. "I so did not need that image."

"Don't worry," Damien said with a soft snicker. "I take more after my mother." Shaking his head, Kenny did his best to clear his mind of _that_ image. Damien, on the other hand, abruptly left the blond; still muttering something about a law.

…eh?

Kenny's ears twitched slightly, picking up on a faint noise coming from somewhere nearby. Looking around, and curiosity rising; Kenny chose to follow the source. Somehow, he was able to avoid being detected by Hell's denizens; until he came upon a cavern wall. Looking at the wall a bit more closely, Kenny saw the faint outline of a door. Realizing that the door was partially opened, Kenny poked his head in. To his surprise, he found a cozy, if yet simple bedroom. Although, he thought that it was a bit overdone with the red. Of course, lying in the bed were Saddam and Satan.

Ugh.

Satan was flipping through the channels of a television, looking bored. **"There's nothing on,"** Satan grumbled, whining a bit. "Ah, you're just cranky, that's all," Saddam pointed out as Satan's grumbling increased.

_"What started as a spat between America and Canada has turned into World War Three!"_ Saddam perked up as Satan settled on a news station. "World War Three?" He repeated, tilting his head. _"Terrance and Philip are to be put to death for crimes against humanity. The date for the execution is…"_ Satan switched the television off, before getting to his feet.

**"It has come to be,"** He hissed, almost purring. **"The four horsemen are upon us."** Satan gave a malicious smile. **"The prophecy **will** be fulfilled."** Saddam raised an eyebrow. "What the fuck are you talking about?"

_**Hm…prophecy?**_

**"The first signs of my ruling has come to pass."** There, pinned to the far wall, was some sort of Mayan calendar. The strange symbols meant nothing to Saddam and Kenny, but they did for Satan. **"The fall of an empire and the coming of a comet."** Satan's grin widen slightly, sending a chill through Kenny. **"And when the blood of these Canadians touches American soil, my time to rule will occur!"**

Say what?

Kenny swallowed thickly, taking a step back in shock. There must be a way to stop this, there must!

**XXXX**

**Broflovski Residence**

Kyle was thankful that his parents were out for the night, as he snuck into their bedroom; Stan and Cartman were right behind him. "Alright," he said softly as he sat down at his dad's computer. "We can use my dad's computer to contact the other kids." The red head began typing in some commands, bypassing a disgusting German site with Cartman's mom; much to the boy's shock. "Let's see," Kyle mused. "I need to put out an all-access email." Cartman just scowled. "Just get to the damn message board!" He growled, before wincing as he was shocked once more.

"I'm trying," Kyle snapped back. "I can't find a Canadian server, so I'm going to have to hack into the mainframe." His hands flew across the keyboard before frowning. The words 'Access Denied' flashed in bright red.

Damn.

"They got an access code," Kyle growled before muttering something about an encryption. Typing in a few more commands, Kyle smiled as the words 'Access Granted' flashed in green; they were in. Ike toddled in, but Stan ushered him out.

_"Want to save Terrance and Philip?"_ Kyle wrote. _"Sneak out after bed time, and meet up at Carl's Warehouse."_ Cartman peered over Kyle's shoulder. "Tell them we'll have punch and pie," He piped up as Kyle frowned. "We're not going to have punch and pie, Cartman." Cartman scowled. "More people will come if we have punch and pie!" He insisted as Kyle sighed; rolling his eyes.

_"...punch and pie,"_ Kyle said flatly. _"The password is..."_

"La Resistance," Stan whispered.

**XXXX**

**Hell**

Closing his eyes, Kenny took a deep breath; doing his best to calm down. Oh, who was he kidding? This was an absolute disaster! There was no way that he was going to allow Satan to take over the world. Which meant that he had to warn someone; but who? Kenny groaned, clutching at his head as he whined.

_**Why me?**_

**XXXX**

**Carl's Warehouse**

Kyle and Stan were busy painting the banner when Cartman finally showed up. "About time you got here, Cartman," Stan groused as he turned around. "I had to ride my bike here," Cartman mumbled, rubbing his tender bottom. "My behind is killing me." Stan and Kyle exchanged amused looks.

"Your…behind?" Stan teased.

"I have to say 'behind'," Cartman said, sounding gloomy. "Otherwise, I get shocked if I say 'ass'." Cartman yelped, twitching violently as he was shocked once more; much to their delight. Just then, a knock came and all three turned to the front door. Somewhat weary, Kyle went up to the door. "Who's there?" He demanded in a sharp tone. "I'm here for the resistance." Kyle snorted, easily recognizing Gregory's voice; but granted him access. To Stan's shock and anger, Wendy was with Gregory. Her eyes widen at the sight of Stan.

"Stan?" She asked, stunned. "_You_ started La Resistance?" Gregory raised an eyebrow, inspecting Stan a bit more carefully. "Hm, maybe you're more political than I first thought," He mused before sighing. "We better get this meeting out of the way, more will be coming."

(…)

"Wow," Stan breathed, amazed by the sight. "Look how many showed up!" Even more surprising was when Kevin and Karen McCormick arrived. Wait a minute, how did those two find out about this? Kyle bit his lip, looking at the siblings with curiosity; if not a bit worried. Gathering his courage, Kyle made his way over. Just as he approached them, it was Karen who blurted it out. "I had a bad dream about Kenny." Kevin grimaced as Kyle's mouth dropped; green eyes widening a bit.

Karen flushed slightly, shyly looking down.

"It was as if I was seeing through a fog," She mumbled, before frowning in confusion. "I could barely see or hear him, but it felt like he was trying to tell me something." Karen looked up with wide, watery eyes. "And before I woke up, I saw Carl's Warehouse!"

A chill went down Kyle's spine.

_Unless…?_

Kyle shuddered at such a frightening thought. One kid raised his hand, and Stan felt like slapping his head. "We were told that there was punch and pie." Kyle rolled his eyes. "There is no punch and pie," He snapped. Not surprisingly, the kid and two others got up and left.

Oh brother.

After those three kids left, things got a little…strange, to say the least. Without warning, the temperatures dropped to the point where many were shivering. Growing uneasy, Kevin inched closer to Karen, as if to shield her. Something…something wasn't right.

_Why am I so afraid?_

With the temperatures continuously dropping, a thin layer of frost began to spread along the interior. The lights were flickering ominously, and the air felt thick somehow; making it somewhat hard to breath. Several kids were trembling as the frost thickened before their very eyes, jagged chunks of ice growing from the ceiling.

"Gosh fellas, look!"

Everyone followed Butters terrified gaze to an area of the warehouse that they hadn't noticed before, and a primal fear gripped them. An eerie dark mist had been slowly gathering, before taking on an all too familiar form: Kenny McCormick. And despite being a spirit, he looked completely normal; if not a bit transparent. Kenny smiled softly, his blue eyes reflecting his inner pain. "K-Kenny…?" Stann stuttered. "Is it really you?" Kyle whispered.

_**"It's really me."**_

Kenny's soft voice held a slight echo to it. His eyes scanned the group of kids, before landing on his two siblings; looking quite startled. This was impossible! Kenny was dead.

But still he called.

Calling from beyond the grave.

"Kenny," Kevin swallowed thickly as the spirit of his baby brother glanced at him. "Where are you?" Kenny blinked owlishly, as if confused. But after a heavy pause, he sighed.

_**"Hell."**_

"WHAT?!" Kyle shrieked as everyone looked on in utter horror. "Kenny," Stan's voice was weak, frightened really. "Why would **you** of all people be in _hell_?" Kenny frowned, before shaking his head. His eyes suddenly narrowed, a deadly glint appearing as he glared at them.

_**"I don't have much time, so listen carefully."**_

The kids exchanged uneasy looks. What was it that was so urgent? A sickening thought came to Stan as he realized why Kenny was here.

_**"Whatever you do, you cannot let Terrance and Philip die."**_

"Kenny," Kyle sounded unsure. "What do you want us to do about it? Kenny scowled something that was unusual for him. _**"If Terrance and Philip die, then Satan will come up to rule the world."**_

"You've got to be kidding me!" Stan groaned, placing a hand to his head. "Satan's coming here?" Cartman squeaked. Before Kenny could answer, his eyes abruptly widen in fear.

_**"I've been found!"**_

Strange black markings suddenly appeared around his wrists, cackling with dark energy. Kenny screamed in pain as the dark energy surged through him; it felt like he was on fire! Kenny fell to his knees, panting heavily as his form flickered.

_**"Remember!"**_ Kenny wheezed.

_**"Don't let them die!"**_

With one last frightening wail, Kenny vanished. Moments later, the temperatures slowly began to change; the air clearing as the ice started to melt. No one could talk as they were shocked by the ominous message. After a heavy pause, Gregory decided to take charge. "Terrance and Philip are being held at the Canadian internment camp two kilometers outside of town," He announced with a sharp tone. "They're to be executed tomorrow during a star studded USO show."

"T-Tomorrow?" Butters stuttered.

"Once the show begins," Gregory continued, before pulling out a map of the town. "We should have about one hour to get Terrance and Philip out of their cell and to this clearing." He pointed out a small area on the map. "There we will rendezvous and together, take Terrance and Philip safely back to Canada."

Kyle was impressed.

Stan, not so much.

"You must meet me at the rendezvous point at precisely ten p.m.," Gregory glanced at Stan. "Sneaking into the show and breaking out Terrance and Philip will be the most dangerous part." Gregory smiled, as if pleased by something. "So, I'll be doing it myself."

That did it.

Stan's eyes narrowed, and he gritted his teeth as he glared at the blond. "No!" He snapped. "We started La Resistance, so **we'll** rescue Terrance and Philip!"

**XXXX**

**Hell**

Kenny groaned as he was thrown into a cavern wall, his head slamming against the unforgivable stone. Almost immediately, his vision swam, and he could feel a warm liquid dripping from where his head cracked from the stone.

Ugh.

_**What hit me?**_

Dazed, Kenny looked up. Unfortunately, with his vision blurry all he could make out was a hulking mass looming over him. Instincts took over, and Kenny lashed out at the mass; before getting to his feet and running for his life.

**XXXX**

**Carl's Warehouse**

"After you have Terrance and Philip, quietly make your way to this ridge." Gregory pointed it out to Stan. "We'll be waiting for you there," Gregory's eyes narrowed slightly. "We cannot wait for you long, so if you're not there by ten, we will leave without you."

Stan nodded.

"You'll need help from someone who's done this before." Gregory wrote down an address, before handing it to Kyle. "Find the Mole," Gregory instructed. "He's an expert in covert operations, a mercenary for hire."

The…Mole?

**XXXX**

**Hell**

After running for a while, Kenny slowed down. He was just glad that he had gotten away from that thing; whatever it was. Breathing a bit heavily, Kenny glanced at his wrists, before scowling at the sight of the seals.

Wait…

_**How did I know that?**_

Kenny shook off his unease, before hearing the faint sounds of someone crying. Looking around, Kenny was surprised to find Satan leaning against a wall, sniffing loudly. For the first time, Kenny felt bad for the Devil. Curse his bleeding heart!

_**I'm going to regret this.**_

Sighing, Kenny walked forward and cleared his throat. Satan jumped, whirling around in shock. "You okay?" Kenny asked softly, tilting his head. Satan blinked owlishly, before sighing.

**"It's Saddam,"** He grumbled.

Kenny snorted. "The sanctimonious prick?" He shot Satan a flat look. "If I were you, I'd leave him." Satan frowned, looking thoughtfully at the small blond. **"You're right,"** he decided.

**"I should leave him."**

**XXXX**

The next day, Stan, Kyle and Cartman showed up at the Mole's home. Stan reached up and knocked; moments later, a pretty brunette answered. "'Allo?" She had a heavy French accent. "Hi," Stan said softly. "We need to speak with the Mole."

The woman frowned.

"I'm sohry," She said sharply. "Ze Mole is grounded, 'e can't come out and play." The trio looked shocked. "He's a kid?" Kyle demanded. "'E said very naughty thingz about God," The woman said angrily. Stan frowned, before sighing. "Can we at least talk to him?" He pleaded as she frowned. "Very well," She grumbled.

"Christophe!"

Christophe was a boy about their age with messy brown hair and sharp honey brown eyes. While the trio was dressed for the cold weather, Christophe was not. He wore a short sleeved dark green shirt, brown pants, black boots and fingerless black gloves. The engraved lines that marred his youthful face, gave way to a weary soul.

"Who are you?" He demanded.

"We need your help to rescue Terrance and Philip," Kyle explained, looking nervous. Christophe raised an eyebrow. "Are you telling me," He began, sounding somewhat amused. "that you intend to break into the USO show, filled with thousands of soldiers, and break out Terrance and Philip?"

Er–

"I thought it was pretty stupid," Cartman admitted as Christophe frowned. He recalled the odd dream that he had last night; about a sad little boy. All he could picture was those big blue eyes pleading with him. Eyes narrowing slightly, Christophe glanced behind him before focusing on the curious trio. "Meet me in the backyard in ten," He hissed, dropping the cigarette that he had been smoking and crushed it.

"Christophe, get in here!"

"Eh, coming mother!"


	4. A Deal with the Devil

Disclaimer: I do not own what you see, save for Kenny's new powers and alternate costumes. Everything and everyone else, however, belongs solely to Matt Stone and Trey Parker, so do not sue me for using them in this story.

Thank you.

**XXXX**

**Hell**

Satan stood outside his room, nervous and unsure. _I can do this_, he told himself. Taking a deep breath, he entered the bedroom; only to find Saddam packing a suitcase. **"Saddam,"** Satan said in a loud, yet strained voice. **"We need to talk."**

Saddam snorted as he threw more clothes into the suitcase. "Better get packing bitch," He snapped. "Time's almost up!" Satan frowned, before sighing as he sat on the bed. **"I'm going up to Earth to rule alone."** Saddam froze for a moment, before whirling around in shock. "No!" He gasped. "No, you can't do that!" Unknown to the duo, Kenny was watching from the doorway. **"You treat me like shit, Saddam!"** Satan growled. Kenny was curious about Saddam's reaction; wondering why the man was turning such a sickly color. "Satan, please!" Saddam pleaded, practically begging. "Gimme another chance, I have to go to Earth!"

Kenny's eyes sharpened.

_**Why does he want to go so badly?**_

His curiosity gave way to disbelief as Satan gave into Saddam's pleas. He hid as the two hurried away, and slapped his head. "Oi vey," Kenny mumbled. "I hope the others are having better luck than I am."

**XXXX**

**Earth**

A stocky Latino male stood on stage, looking over the audience with a soft smile. He wore a short sleeved pink shirt, tan khaki's, dark shoes and a colorful scarf. He glanced to the red-haired woman next to him, and shivered a little at the malice in her green eyes.

Standing on a hill that overlooked the show, were Christophe and the trio. Christophe peered through his binoculars, frowning deeply. "This is where they intend to kill Terrance and Philip," He said darkly as they shivered. "We need to hurry," Stan said nervously. "We're supposed to meet with the other kids at ten."

Christophe was silent, before turning to them with a hardened glare. "You do realize that we could be killed," He said flatly. Kyle paled slightly; wincing a bit. "We don't have a choice," He answered, sounding nervous and somewhat weak. "Fine," Christophe huffed. "Then follow me." He gestured towards a dirt path that they hadn't noticed before. _This has got to work_, Stan thought as they hurried after Christophe.

_It just has to!_

**XXXX**

**USO Show**

_"And here are your hosts for the evening; Shelia Broflovski and Big Gay Al!"_ The troops cheered as said people took center stage. "Al," Shelia began, sounding smug. "Tonight is very special, do you know why?" Al grinned slyly. "They're having a sale at Merv's?" He teased as the troops laughed.

Shelia smirked.

"No," She purred. "We're here to abolish Canadian smut." Al snickered. "Indeed," He agreed. "Bring out the condemned!" Terrance and Philip were lead out, causing the audience to boo and hiss. The two men were carefully strapped into the electric chairs that had been set up. Tears were streaming from Terrance's eyes as Philip growled; cursing as they were strapped in. "Time for our first act," Al said cheerfully as this was happening. A small dog bounded onto the stage with a soft yip. "Yippy, the back flipping dog!"

Meanwhile, on the other side of the camp, were the four boys. Christophe led them over to an area that was protected by a series of barbed wires. He frowned at the sight of the armed guards and the Doberman canines.

He _hated_ dogs!

Sighing, he pulled out a set of wire clippers and snipped the bottom wire, before slipping it back into his bag. "Be careful to not touch this wire," he warned, and slid under the remaining wires. The others started to follow, only for Cartman to snag his jacket on the wires; causing the obese boy to curse. Thankfully, Stan crawled back and covered Cartman's mouth; patiently waiting for the other boy to calm down.

After twitching violently for several moments, Cartman calmed down. Soon enough, they were moving only to hide in some bushes as two guards walked by. Hearing the sudden cheering, Christophe cursed softly. "Sheet, the show has already started!" He growled, angrily. Taking a good look around, Christophe sighed; a bitter sound, before pulling out a shovel. "We'll have to dig from here," He continued with a grumble. "Say Mole?" Stan asked, a bit hesitant. "Do you know where I can find the clitoris?"

Christophe stilled.

"Ze what?" He asked, slowly.

"The clitoris," Stan repeated, sounding impatient. "I need to find it so that I can get Wendy to like me again." Christophe whirled around, before punching Stan in the stomach; hard. Stan fell to his knees, grasping his stomach as he uttered a pained gasp. "Stop thinking with your dick!" Christophe snapped, glaring down at the dazed boy. "This isn't some game!" He continued, practically spitting with rage. Still growling, Christophe went back to digging. Stan, however, was left confused. Why did people react so strangely when he would ask about the clitoris?

_Was it something that I said?_

**XXXX**

**USO Show**

Finally tiring, Yippy wandered off and Shelia took center stage once more. "Men, when you're out there on the battlefield," Shelia said in a sharp, cold tone. "Staring into the beady eyes of a Canadian, remember what the MPAA says," She continued. _"Horrific, deplorable violence is okay, so long as people don't say any naughty words."_ Terrance and Philip exchanged stunned looks. "What?" Terrance whispered as the horrible realization dawned on them. Philip struggled, but the straps held; he just couldn't believe it. This so-called war, their soon to be execution was the result of their movie?!

**XXXX**

Just a few feet away from the stage, a hole in the ground formed. Moments later, Christophe poked his head but ducked back in; and just in time, too. A searchlight passed over, thankfully missing them. The second it moved on, Christophe took another peek and frowned. There were even more guards, and quite a number of searchlights.

Great.

"Move!" He hissed at them. The boys scrambled from the hole, and rushed towards a nearby building. Again, they were lucky that no one saw them. Now pressed against the wall, it was time for the next part of the plan. "We'll have to split up from here," Christophe said grimly.

Kyle grimaced slightly.

For some reason, Christophe sent Cartman a dirty look. "Cartman, over zere is the electrical box." He pointed to a nearby building where Cartman could make out a metal box attached to a wall. "You must sneak over and shut it off before I return with Terrance and Philip," Christophe instructed. "Otherwise ze alarms will sound and I will be attacked by guard dogs. Got it?"

Cartman nodded.

"You must shut of the alarms!" Christophe snapped. "I **hate** guard dogs!" Cartman snorted, rolling his eyes. "I heard you the first time, you piece of shit," He mumbled before twitching as he was shocked. Still grumbling, Cartman walked off.

Christophe turned to the others.

"It'll take me awhile to get to them," he said sharply. "You must stall the show." He pulled out what looked like a gun from his bag, but the barrel was fatter than a regular gun. He then handed it over to a panicking Kyle. "If anything goes wrong, use this flare gun." Kyle shakily slipped it into his pocket. Christophe gave a curt nod, before starting to dig once more. "Be careful," Stan called over his shoulder as he and Kyle took off.

**XXXX**

**Meanwhile**

Cartman hid, watching as two soldiers walked by. There were pretty animated about their conversation. It was something about the actress Winona Ryder. A feeling of dread suddenly settled, and Cartman shivered.

**XXXX**

Stan and Kyle hid among the audience, catching the last bit of Winona's act. Apparently, she was swatting ping pong balls from between her legs. The cheerful brunette stood back up, holding the paddle in one hand. "There, I didn't miss one!" She chirped, sounding a bit smug. "Well," Al said cheerfully as she left. "I'm afraid that's all the acts that we have for you tonight." Stan and Kyle exchanged worried looks. "So, on with the execution!"

Oh no…

"We need to stall them!" Stan hissed as Kyle nodded. "More, more!" Kyle yelled loudly. "Yeah, more!" The troops agreed, cheering loudly as Al blushed. "Oh, you big sillies!" He giggled. "You want to see more of me?"

"Big Gay Al! Big Gay Al!"

The troops cheered, unknowingly agreeing with Stan. "Well," Al mused. "I do have a little song that I wrote for the war." He went and slapped his head. "Oh, but we haven't rehearsed."

"Sing the fucking song!" Kyle yelled.

As Al sang, the two boys sighed. "I just hope that we gave the Mole enough time," Stan said grimly, glancing at the stage. Kyle swallowed thickly, his green eyes uneasy. Things were going a little too easy for them, which meant that something was terribly wrong.

But what?

**XXXX**

Finally alone, Cartman crawled out and looked up at the fuse box. Just as he was about to shut the alarms off, the temperatures dropped slightly. Drawing in a sharp breath, Cartman slowly turned around.

"Kenny."

Kenny's spirit stood there, his eyes sharp. "Wh…what do you want?" Cartman stuttered, taking a step back. Kenny frowned, before shifting a bit.

_**"They're coming."**_

That was all Kenny could get out before Cartman ran away. Kenny stared blankly, before shaking his head as he vanished. Unfortunately, Cartman forgot to shut off the alarms.

Definitely not good.

**XXXX**

**USO Show**

Al glanced at the audience, tired but pleased. "Alight everyone," He said tiredly. Unknown to the man, a hole suddenly appeared on the stage floor, right next to where Terrance and Philip were. "I just want to take a minute here to thank all of our wonderful sponsors tonight."

Stan saw that Christophe was on stage, and sighed. "He's almost got them," He said, sounding relieved. Meanwhile, Terrance and Philip were surprised to find Christophe there, doing his best to undo the bindings. "Shh!" Christophe hissed as Terrance was about to speak. "I'm here to get you out," He continued as the two men exchanged looks. "Once I've released you, follow me through the tunnel."

"You guys!"

Stan turned, only to see a rather pale looking Cartman running up to them. "What, Cartman?" Stan snipped. "I saw him!" Cartman wheezed. "I saw Kenny!" Kyle suddenly realized something. "Cartman, did you turn off the alarms?"

Cartman froze.

"Whoops."

All three turned to the stage, just as the alarms went off. Kyle reached into his coat and pulled out the flare gun, his hands shaking a bit. The nervous boy pointed it at the skies, and pulled the trigger. Almost immediately, there was a sharp hiss, smoke billowing as a red blur shot into the evening sky. Christophe looked up sharply, paling as a searchlight landed on him. Mrs. Broflovski whirled around, her green eyes furious. "A spy!" She hissed. An elderly man in a military uniform, and judging by his medals; he was of high ranking, too. Several soldiers ran onto the stage, along with some Dobermans; and Christophe shivered.

"Get him!"

Christophe took a step back as the dogs snarled, tugging on their leashes. "Sheet!" He cursed as the soldiers released their hold on the leashes. The now frightened boy dove back for the hole, and unfortunately for Christophe; they followed him into the tunnel. As the trio ran to help, Kyle glanced back at the stage, only to cringe at the sight of his mother's cruel expression. Shaking his head, Kyle ran after his two friends.

**XXXX**

Reaching the other side of the tunnel, the boys could hear Christophe cursing as the dogs tore into him. "Sheet! Fucking guard dogs!" He yelled. "Sheet!" Christophe rose from the tunnel, pale and trembling. Angry cuts marred a good portion of his skin; blood dripping freely.

"Zey alarms," He wheezed.

"Zey went off…"

Cartman flushed, looking down in embarrassment. "Yeah, my bad," He mumbled. Christophe coughed, a low, wet sound before collapsing; thankfully, Kyle caught him. "C-Cold," Christophe stuttered, shivering. "Y-you need to leave," Christophe rasped, coughing up blood. "We can't leave," Kyle insisted as Christophe gave a weak smile. "I'm sorry," He whispered, before shuddering as he gave one last gasp.

And died.

Stan swallowed thickly, watching as Kyle gently lowered Christophe's body. "This has gone too far," He whispered, clenching his fists.

**XXXX**

**Hell**

_"Now for the moment that you've all been waiting for!"_ Satan peered through a large crystal ball, eyes glowing softly. _"It's time for the execution!"_ Satan was grinning at this.

**XXXX**

**USO Show**

The boys rejoined the crowd, pale and shaken from Christophe's death. "Crap, they're starting!" Stan growled. "We have to warn them about Satan." Kyle turned white at the thought of having to approach his mother. "I-I can't let my mom see me," Kyle stammered.

Stan sighed.

"For once, I agree with Cartman," He muttered. "Kyle, you need to stand up to your mother." Kyle cringed only to yelp as Stan grabbed his hand and proceeded to drag him to the stage. Shelia smirked, turning to the two nervous men. She apparently didn't care that she had harmed a child. "Any last words, gentlemen?" Philip scowled, glaring with narrowed eyes. "How about…getting us the fuck out of these chairs?!"

"Wait!"

Those on stage, turned around; as if startled. Liane, Sharon and Shelia were surprised to find their sons running up to them. All three were rather pale and appeared to be shaken; and was that _blood_ on Kyle's gloves?! "Go on," Stan urged. "Tell her." Kyle swallowed thickly, before looking down in shame. "I-I can't…" He whispered. Stan rolled his eyes, before glaring at their mothers. "You can't kill Terrance and Philip," He snapped. "If they die, Satan will come up to rule the world!" For a moment, there was silence; then, without warning, everyone burst out laughing.

Shelia wiped the tears from her eyes, before turning to Mr. Garrison; who was standing at the switch that controlled the chairs. "Do it!" She ordered. Mr. Garrison nodded and threw the switch just as the boys screamed. Terrance and Philip screamed in agony, convulsing violently as thousands of volts surged through them. Without warning, a bomb was dropped into the crowd, exploding upon contact; a Canadian plane flew by.

"The Canadians are attacking!" Mr. Garrison yelped, before running away. "We need to shut the power off!" Cartman insisted. Before Stan and Kyle could even react, Cartman was racing for the switch. Just as Cartman's hand grasped the switch, a bolt of electricity surged through him. Cartman screeched, twitching violently. As he twitched, something in him suddenly felt off. Strangely enough, the two men fell limp; thankfully, they were still alive, just in a lot of pain. "What…what just happened?" Terrance demanded, gasping. Philip groaned, eyes fluttering before widening at the sight of a twitching Cartman.

_That kid_, he thought tiredly.

_He saved us?_

"G-Guys!" Cartman stuttered, barely getting it out as he twitched violently. "Turn it off!" Just then, the chairs straps were released; freeing the two men. Terrance yelped when Philip suddenly grabbed his wrist and proceeded to drag him away. Cartman collapsed, his twitching slowly fading. Stan, however, ran after Terrance and Philip; desperate to catch up. "Wait!" Stan yelled. Before he knew it, _another_ bomb was dropped nearby. The force of the explosion sent Stan flying a few feet away. Stan groaned as he hit the ground, his head cracking against the unforgiving earth. Dazed and in pain, Stan slipped into blissful unconsciousness. After a while, Stan came to; only to cringe at the loud sounds of gunfire.

"Stan!"

…huh?

Stan shook his head, turning slightly to his right. To his pleasant surprise, Wendy was running up to him. Along with her, were the other kids; all but Kyle and Cartman, that is. "Stan!" Wendy cried. "Are you alright?" She helped the dazed boy to his feet. Gregory scowled, his eyes narrowed. "I knew that you would fail this mission," He growled as Wendy glared at him. Stan rubbed his head, feeling an ugly knot there. "We need to hurry," He mumbled.

"We're running out of time."

**XXXX**

**Meanwhile**

Gathered on a hill, overlooking the devastation; were all of the mothers. "This is terrible!" Sharon cried, looking horrified. "This is what we wanted!" Shelia snapped. Sharon stared blankly at her, before shaking her head. "But not like this." She turned to follow the others.

"Where are you going?" Shelia demanded. Sharon glanced at her, her brown eyes showing her pain. "We're going to find our boys," She said softly. "For Christ sake, Shelia, we're going to get them killed!"

**XXXX**

When the last bomb had dropped, Kyle and Cartman dove for safety within a nearby trench. "Can't believe this is even happening," Kyle whimpered. Cartman cringed at the wails of dying soldiers, he was going to be having nightmares about this for years; he just knew it.

Footsteps?

Kyle peered over the edge of the trench, startled to find that Stan and the other kids were approaching them. "Cartman," He hissed, catching the obese boy's attention. "The others are here, let's go!"

Cartman nodded.

It was a bit of a struggle for them to get out, but they did it. "We've got to find Terrance and Philip," Stan said grimly. "We can't let them die, or the whole world will be destroyed." Cartman snorted, rolling his eyes. "No shit," He grumbled. Without warning, a bolt of energy lashed out, striking Kyle who yelped. Cartman stared down at his still sparking hands, surprised by the sudden action. "What's with this stupid thing?" He wondered. Looking around, Stan saw that the two men were running for their lives; just a few feet away.

"There they are!"

Philip was desperate to escape this hell hold. Faintly, he could hear Terrance whimper. Thinking that they were safe, he finally came to a halt; wheezing painfully. Terrance fell to his knees, breathing heavily.

Wait…

_What was that?_ Philip wondered, looking around with wild, dark eyes. To his horror, the elder general and the surviving soldiers were making their way towards the two men. _Oh hell_, he thought weakly. Before anyone could even react, the kids had crowded around the two stunned men. "Don't shoot!" Stan yelled, standing protectively in front of the actors. "I'll take care of this," Shelia barked, coming into view; and Kyle swallowed thickly. "Kids, get out of the way this instant!" The kids stood still, and for once, Kyle glared at his mother.

"I'm…not…moving!" Kyle yelled.

"Stand down, children," The general instructed. To be honest, he really didn't want his men to use their weapons with so many children nearby. "What about Ike, mom?" Kyle demanded, hotly. "Did you forget that your own adopted son is Canadian?" The soldiers stilled as the general glared at a now nervous Shelia. Her green eyes suddenly narrowed, and she grabbed the general's handgun and pointed it at Terrance. The kids could only look on in utter horror as Mrs. Broflovski shot Terrance twice; once in the chest and once in the head. Terrance collapsed, his face frozen in shock. She then did the same thing to the blond, who collapsed as well.

"Holy shit!" Kyle breathed.

Shelia lowered the gun; the barrel still smoking. "Young man, you watch your mouth!" She snapped. Just then, thick crimson blood began to ooze from the wounds; catching everyone's attention. Every kid suddenly turned white, backing away slowly; sending a deadly chill through the adults. Suddenly, the evening skies turned a bloody red; dark clouds gathering ominously overhead. The ground gave a sudden lurch, as if the planet itself was groaning. But such a thing was impossible…

…wasn't it?

The kids ran just as the ground exploded. A jagged hole suddenly formed, and a whirlwind of darkness shot up into the skies. Shadowy like creatures began to pour, terrorizing the soldiers. A rather tall and muscular man with bloody red skin and glowing yellow eyes; landed before the horrified crowd.

Satan.

Behind Satan, a familiar man in a gray uniform, was pulling himself out. "It's Saddam Hussein!" The general shouted as every soldier, Canadian and American, pointed their gun at him. The kids gathered themselves, before exchanging confused looks. They weren't going to shoot, were they?

"Fire!"

Yep.

Unfortunately, for the soldiers that is, their bullets just bounced off. Saddam just laughed, looking at the terrified soldiers with a sadistic smile. "What a dumbass!" He cackled, eyes glittering. Turning his head, Stan was stunned to see that Kenny was pulling himself out as well.

"Kenny…"

Satan loomed over Shelia, his eyes glowing. **"You have spilled the blood of the innocent,"** He growled as she looked taken back. **"Now begins ten thousand years of darkness."** Shelia turned white, swallowing thickly. "I-I just wanted to make the world a better place for children," She stammered. By now, everyone was glaring at Shelia, who was whimpering. Carol McCormick was horrified to find her baby boy dragging himself out of hell. Kenny ignored her, and instead, focused on Satan, who looked upset about something. Tilting his head, Kenny realized why.

The survivors were bowing not to Satan, but to Saddam instead. **"Saddam,"** Satan said, darkly. **"I'm the dark ruler, not you."** Surprisingly enough, the man actually _slapped_ Satan. "Relax, bitch," He sneered. "You're better seen and not heard." Kenny raised an eyebrow, looking annoyed at the devil.

/"Are you really going to let him get away with that?"/ Satan swallowed thickly, looking down with shameful eyes as Kenny scowled; a low growl leaving him. **"I…I can't."**

Oh brother.

"Let's start by building a big statue of me." Saddam looked around, before zeroing in on Cartman. "Right where that fat kid is standing," He sneered. Cartman frowned, glaring at the man. "Hey!" He snapped. "Don't call me fat, buttfucker!" Without warning, a bolt of energy lashed out, striking a nearby demon.

What the–?

Cartman looked down at his hands, a bit surprised before realization dawned on him. Kyle's green eyes widen as he, too, realized what had happened. Somehow, Eric Cartman could now control the V-Chip.

"Do it, Cartman!" Kyle urged.

Cartman smirked.

"Damn shithead," Cartman growled. "Respect my fuckin' authoritah!" Bolts of lightning lashed out from Cartman's hands, spiraling across the battlefield; striking Saddam. The force of the collision sent the man flying back several feet; hitting the ground with a painful crack. Saddam growled, slowly getting to his feet. "You need to watch your mouth, brat," He hissed. Then, Cartman let out a stream of colorful words, and lightning kept hitting the man; sending him further and further back. It wasn't until he slammed into a boulder that the lightning had stopped. Panting and twitching violently, Saddam's murderous glare traveled between Satan and Cartman. "What are you waiting for, bitch?" He snapped at the devil. "Do something!"

Satan's eyes glowed.

**"That's it!"**

Only Kenny was mused, not to mention pleased, with what had happened next. Satan grabbed the startled man, dragging him over to where the gateway to hell had formed; and _threw_ him over the edge. Saddam's screams could be heard; before being cut off by a loud, wet gurgle. /"Couldn't have happened to a nicer guy,"/ He snickered, before smiling at a now embarrassed Satan. /"I knew that you had it in you,"/ Kenny teased, and Satan flushed. Stan, Kyle and Cartman exchanged confused looks.

"Did we miss something?" Stan whispered. Kyle raised an eyebrow. "I think so," He agreed. Satan sighed, before turning to Kenny. **"Thank you for showing me the truth."** He suddenly grinned, a toothy one at that. **"Make a wish and I'll grant it."**

_**A wish, huh?**_

His blue eyes traveled over the battlefield, taking in the sight of the dying and dead alike. Even though he loved his family and friends; he couldn't let anyone else suffer. Sighing, he looked up at Satan, his decision made. /"I want everything to go back to the way it was before,"/ He said, bluntly. The trio looked up in shock, their eyes wide. "Really?" They said at the same time. Satan raised an eyebrow. **"Are you sure about this?"** He questioned.

Kenny nodded.

**"Very well,"** Satan sighed. Smiling softly, Kenny turned around to his friends, and lowered his hood. His blond curls framing his face, head tilted in a cute manner. "Goodbye, you guys…" He whispered, slowly fading away. As Satan pulled back, the dying soldiers found themselves healed; while the dead were revived. The gateway sealed itself off as the last demon was drawn back in. Amazingly enough, the snow was melting and flowers were beginning to blossom.

The war was over.

Kyle smiled as his mother hugged him. "I'm sorry that I didn't listen," She said softly. Stan blushed furiously as Wendy kissed his right cheek; score! As if sensing something, one-by-one, everybody looked up at the skies. Spiraling across the skies, was a large, glowing light. Somehow, the kids knew that the light was Kenny's soul. Kenny was smiling as he finally made it to Heaven.

_**I'll be seeing you soon.**_


End file.
